A Small Habit

Today, I just realized that I have a small habit. I'm still uncertain if it's a good habit or a bad one, but regardless, it's just a habit. What is it?

I make light of my personal pain.

I take my pain and try to crack jokes about it.

For example, during the second (or was it third?) week of November, I had spent five days in the hospital. Three of those days were full of pain and general not feeling well, one of them was when I got a surgery, and a day of recovery and being released. During most of my stay, I made it a personal challenge to make all of my nurses to at least chuckle.

While healing from the operation, I also made cracks that "I'm being held together by glue and tape. I'm a kindergarten arts and crafts project!"

I'd have thought that it was me just hiding my pain behind a sense of humor.

Until today.

For the last few weeks, I've had to deal with what feels like the worst sciatica attack in years. And I had to not just go to college, but I needed to go grocery shopping. So I decided that I was going to need to use one of those scooters they have for people with impaired mobility (like me). And I was shopping by myself when I came to two realizations.

1) Before this attack, the only motorized vehicle I had extensive experience controlling was a bumper car and it shows.

2) "Born to be Wild" is the wrong song to be humming while on a scooter-cart that could maybe go up to 3 MPH.

Of course, the first realization could also be explained away by accusing random things of "jumping out at me". I doubt that last sign in the Safeway could be explained away in that way. I just acted like no one saw me hitting a store sign. I may or may not have made a face while trying to speed away from the scene of the hit and run.

So that's my small habit that I just noticed that I have.